Okaaaaaaaay...so I know that Day One was originally August 1st, but what can I say? I messed up. I want to make excuses and talk about all the life changes that caused this mess up, but the truth is - there are no excuses. I have to adjust to life and all the curve balls it throws me otherwise I'll always have a reason for not achieving my goal. The greats learned how to master any ball that was pitched to them and knock it out of the park.
I got a new job, which is awesome, and although the new schedule threw me off, I now know that the way I can fit in my exercise and makie a healthy breakfast and lunch is to wake up at 4:30am. I can complain about it or I can go to sleep earlier and feel blessed that I have a job I love, the ability to get up and work out, and the means to make a lunchbox full of healthy, organic, and gluten free foods. I also thought I had to go to jail and prepared for my extended stay by eating as much ice cream and Reeses peanut butter cups as I could before the day I'd have to experience my own Orange is the New Black episode. But guess what? I was able to save enough to procure a lawyer for $1200, pay all my fines with the help of my family ($1500), and reinstate my license ($210). While I was stressed out and eating up a storm, the truth was I was blessed enough to not only have the means to take care of everything, but my lawyer made a miracle (with the help of God) and I ended up having no jail time and I can now legally drive (which has been a burden for over 3 years). Why was I tripping? I realized something incredibly humbling throughout this whole "ordeal" - that I am my worst enemy and single handedly create more drama for myself than was warranted. I am the 1 ounce heavier than I was 1 month ago. I lost close to 8 lbs then gained it all back because I created a fake whirlwind around myself. The truth is a month ago I didn't have a great job, a license, financial security, nor the knowledge that I am supported and loved by more than my immediate family, but also by my spiritual family. I am ahead of the game, but psyched myself out to feel sorry for myself and make excuses for being a slob. So now - I'm back at square one 30 days later. I still have 40lbs to lose, but now only have 4 months instead of 5 months. The only difference now is that I will not allow ANYTHING to get in my way. NOTHING is a legitimate excuse to achieving my goals. I should always make a conscious effort to make every decision proactive. I deserve a spanking for dropping the ball when this is clearly extremely important to me and my self worth. It's not just about looking and feeling good, but it's about knowing that I can trust and rely on myself no matter the circumstances. I don't want to be a mother that falls apart. I'm not just living for myself any longer. The day I brought children into this world I became a mother to many and want to be respected and admired for my integrity. I am responsible. I am healthy. I am generous. I persevere. I make wise choices. I can be counted on. Any actions that do not support these ideals are no longer a part of my world. You can spit on the ball you throw my way, and I'm still gonna knock it out the ballpark! See you at 130 lbs!
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Meet The AuthorI am a single mom to 2 beautiful young children. My son Alaric is 8 years old, and my daughter Asilia is 6. I am also a caregiver to my younger brother who is 22 and survived a life altering accident that has rendered him blind and partially immobile. My elderly parents live with us and we are family like the phoenix - rising from the ashes. Before co-vid I had 3 jobs I worked as well as building my business, STyler Visuals, a content creation company specializing in photography, interviews, and video for non-profit organizations. Categories |